[ the question stings in the way someone twisting a knife between the ribs would. there's a cut that marks out hyperion city's skyline, deep, like a slow bleeding out. he'd reach for a wound, but there's not going to be anything there, situated heavy in his heart instead of piercing through his skin. you had one job, steel. now what?
god looking at nureyev is hard.
especially when he's so goddamn calm about all of it. ]
I'm fine.
[ it comes out fast, impact sharp, like that's the most ridiculous question of the day he's been asked. he doesn't feel fine, but he's got to be right? he's got to hold this shit together. he's still got something to cling to in all of this. those people asleep in cryo, the person sitting in front of him even though he feels that he doesn't deserve this weird in-between-concern-and-nonchalance that nureyev his offering him. ]
It's gone. I get it. Can we just -
[ get on with the rest of it? just drive the rest of the knife in or however poetic you wanna get about it? his throat works briefly. every mention makes it even more real than before and juno needs to. he needs to not think about it because it's already consuming him enough. between this and nureyev staring him in the face... it's a lot. ]
- Got bigger fish to fry, don't we?
[ "we" is a weird word. and he doesn't feel like he deserves to say it. ]
no subject
god looking at nureyev is hard.
especially when he's so goddamn calm about all of it. ]
I'm fine.
[ it comes out fast, impact sharp, like that's the most ridiculous question of the day he's been asked. he doesn't feel fine, but he's got to be right? he's got to hold this shit together. he's still got something to cling to in all of this. those people asleep in cryo, the person sitting in front of him even though he feels that he doesn't deserve this weird in-between-concern-and-nonchalance that nureyev his offering him. ]
It's gone. I get it. Can we just -
[ get on with the rest of it? just drive the rest of the knife in or however poetic you wanna get about it? his throat works briefly. every mention makes it even more real than before and juno needs to. he needs to not think about it because it's already consuming him enough. between this and nureyev staring him in the face... it's a lot. ]
- Got bigger fish to fry, don't we?
[ "we" is a weird word. and he doesn't feel like he deserves to say it. ]
How do you feel about all this, huh?