( his smile stays where it is. it stays firmly attached to his face because he fears that if he lets it slide from where it is, it won't return for a long time yet. because he fears that if he stops smiling, his face will betray all the anger and loss he feels — and once his face betrays it, there'll be no way for him to stop himself from acting on it, too.
so he shakes his head in a gentle denial, not verbalising it's not that but indicating it. it isn't fear of emotionality. it's fear for everyone and everything else. )
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so he shakes his head in a gentle denial, not verbalising it's not that but indicating it. it isn't fear of emotionality. it's fear for everyone and everything else. )