Axel could certainly agree on the cheerfulness thing, at least to a certain extent. Sure, when he lost his heart, things had seemed pretty dismal; he hadn't really understood the breadth of everything back then. Granted, based on Sora's story, he doesn't really understand the breadth of everything now, but that's something to ponder on later. Lea had always been a cheerful, carefree kid, and so for the most part, Axel had followed suit. It was his nature, after all, and his 'pretending' to still be a friendly, garrulous person had annoyed the crap out of some of the older Organization members, so that had been an added bonus.
He knows Roxas and Xion had hated Saïx with... well, as many fibers of their beings as may have been capable of such a thing, and there had been a part of him that hated that. With Saïx being the way he had become, though, he knew it was too much to ask for them to give him the benefit of the doubt. Isa had always been kind of a jerk, it was true, but Saïx had kicked that into overdrive, and he had set his lasers on the kids more often than not, and Axel had come to resent it. In doing so, he had come to resent Saïx himself, and... Light, had he just made things worse? Had there been a point before which he could have still saved him, brought back the Isa he'd known all those years ago?
Sora's voice cuts through his thoughts, and Axel glances up, something raw and bleeding in his expression even as he's trying to tell himself he can't actually be feeling this pain. He exhales sharply--it might have been trying to be a laugh--and shakes his head. No, he's... really not okay, not at all, but it isn't Sora's fault. If anything, it's mostly his own, and while he's been at least partially aware that his actions were to blame for what happened between him and Roxas, he had never realized that he'd wronged Isa along the way as well.
His food long forgotten now, Axel is quiet for a moment, then rubs his chin in thought before giving Sora a weary, half-forced sort of smile. It's thin and shallow, but he's trying.
"Kid, don't look at me like that," he says. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" He takes a deep breath and blows it up toward his hairline, then leans forward to rest his brow against the heels of his hands, his elbows on the table. "That's just a helluva lot of crap to process, and I'm not even sure I'm properly equipped to."
Though he guesses that if he feels this lousy with no heart to actually feel with, it's a small blessing. If he had his full range of emotions, he'd probably be 75% more of a wreck.
After a moment, he realizes something was conspicuously missing from Sora's story, and lifts his head again.
"What about Xion?" he asks. "You... said Roxas gave you all his memories in a dream, but... Xion was dead set on going back to your heart already anyway, is..." He still hasn't been able to find her in the room filled with sleep pods. Is she even there? Or... "Did she make it?"
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He knows Roxas and Xion had hated Saïx with... well, as many fibers of their beings as may have been capable of such a thing, and there had been a part of him that hated that. With Saïx being the way he had become, though, he knew it was too much to ask for them to give him the benefit of the doubt. Isa had always been kind of a jerk, it was true, but Saïx had kicked that into overdrive, and he had set his lasers on the kids more often than not, and Axel had come to resent it. In doing so, he had come to resent Saïx himself, and... Light, had he just made things worse? Had there been a point before which he could have still saved him, brought back the Isa he'd known all those years ago?
Sora's voice cuts through his thoughts, and Axel glances up, something raw and bleeding in his expression even as he's trying to tell himself he can't actually be feeling this pain. He exhales sharply--it might have been trying to be a laugh--and shakes his head. No, he's... really not okay, not at all, but it isn't Sora's fault. If anything, it's mostly his own, and while he's been at least partially aware that his actions were to blame for what happened between him and Roxas, he had never realized that he'd wronged Isa along the way as well.
His food long forgotten now, Axel is quiet for a moment, then rubs his chin in thought before giving Sora a weary, half-forced sort of smile. It's thin and shallow, but he's trying.
"Kid, don't look at me like that," he says. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" He takes a deep breath and blows it up toward his hairline, then leans forward to rest his brow against the heels of his hands, his elbows on the table. "That's just a helluva lot of crap to process, and I'm not even sure I'm properly equipped to."
Though he guesses that if he feels this lousy with no heart to actually feel with, it's a small blessing. If he had his full range of emotions, he'd probably be 75% more of a wreck.
After a moment, he realizes something was conspicuously missing from Sora's story, and lifts his head again.
"What about Xion?" he asks. "You... said Roxas gave you all his memories in a dream, but... Xion was dead set on going back to your heart already anyway, is..." He still hasn't been able to find her in the room filled with sleep pods. Is she even there? Or... "Did she make it?"