[he thinks for a brief moment that it's all going to be alright--that he'd worried himself for nothing and they can swiftly move past it all. because it is eggsy, there's absolutely no mistaking that now. he looks just as betrayed as when he'd stormed into harry's mews and looked in disgust at mr. pickle. before he'd accused him of using his father as little more than a bodyshield to save his own skin. he wants to reach after him when he feels the way eggsy pulls back from the soft touch on his arm--stepping back and both physically and metaphorically imposing that distance once more. it had felt like miles in the small expanse of his bathroom; here it may as well be cross-continent.
no, of course there was no way they could simply brush this aside. harry looks positively wounded for a few moments before he arranges his face back into careful composure. he's miscalculated somewhere along the way how invested he was in eggsy's success and trying to allay some of his own guilt for the way his father had sacrificed him and ultimately lead to the lack of someone dependable in his life. but that's terribly selfish in retrospect--having forced the boy to say yes by letting his stepfather's goons run back and tattle, pushing eggsy out that door almost as much as fear of dean had over that speaker. harry gave him what he needed to reach his own potential, yes, but he also put him in a position where it might have been impossible to say no.
the reality of it hits him square in the chest, tightening and making him stand up a little stiffer. at least, just for a moment. he hadn't meant to be cruel and upset the boy so badly, lights glimmering off the sudden shine and glassiness in his eyes and harry doesn't want to see him like that--exactly as he'd left him before he walked out the door to kentucky.
he bends down without a word onto one knee, reaching for the hat that's fallen off his head. but he doesn't get up from there, instead dropping the other one down and kneeling in front of eggsy, tipping his chin up and extending it to him to take. a peace offering in more ways than one.]
I'm sorry, Eggsy. I needed to be sure it was you.
[if eggsy reaches for his hat, harry won't let it go yet, instead using it to pull him in a bit closer.]
You can't imagine my relief when they said you were here. But I had no idea if I could trust them, if it was real or another trick like the simulations.
Most especially I needed to apologize for the way I left things.
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no, of course there was no way they could simply brush this aside. harry looks positively wounded for a few moments before he arranges his face back into careful composure. he's miscalculated somewhere along the way how invested he was in eggsy's success and trying to allay some of his own guilt for the way his father had sacrificed him and ultimately lead to the lack of someone dependable in his life. but that's terribly selfish in retrospect--having forced the boy to say yes by letting his stepfather's goons run back and tattle, pushing eggsy out that door almost as much as fear of dean had over that speaker. harry gave him what he needed to reach his own potential, yes, but he also put him in a position where it might have been impossible to say no.
the reality of it hits him square in the chest, tightening and making him stand up a little stiffer. at least, just for a moment. he hadn't meant to be cruel and upset the boy so badly, lights glimmering off the sudden shine and glassiness in his eyes and harry doesn't want to see him like that--exactly as he'd left him before he walked out the door to kentucky.
he bends down without a word onto one knee, reaching for the hat that's fallen off his head. but he doesn't get up from there, instead dropping the other one down and kneeling in front of eggsy, tipping his chin up and extending it to him to take. a peace offering in more ways than one.]
I'm sorry, Eggsy. I needed to be sure it was you.
[if eggsy reaches for his hat, harry won't let it go yet, instead using it to pull him in a bit closer.]
You can't imagine my relief when they said you were here. But I had no idea if I could trust them, if it was real or another trick like the simulations.
Most especially I needed to apologize for the way I left things.