[Local shmuck and general do-nothinger Ford Prefect hadn't intended to end up on top of a cold mountain with a bag full of ice bison droppings, but now that he was, he really wished he wasn't. What was worse, besides the freezing, was that he still neeeded the blood. He had the dart gun, he had a visual, it's just he also had a terrible sneeze that didn't want to go away. He tried reasoning with his sneeze.]
Wahhhh- don't. Waaahhh- don't sneeze. Waaaahhhh- it won't end well.
[So far the beast hadn't noticed him, though his sneeze was still pretty intent on hanging around. He really didn't want to have to go trekking after this beast again because his nose wouldn't participate.]
B. Freezing
[It's cold! Cold as balls! Without the vast resources of the Guide to tell him how to survive, Ford has only a towel to wrap around his neck as he stares intently at the fire starting kit he was given when he went on this stupid assignment in the first place. There was some wood, some matches, and a man who seemed to think if he stared at the contents long enough that they might just burst into flame. It wasn't that he didn't know how to use matches, it was more a problem of the matches not knowing how to use him.]
C. Wildcard
[Additional wacky adventures in the snow resume. Who is this Ford Prefect fellow? Why is he in the snow? And why would a native decide to bring his towel all the way up there?]
Thesa Station
A. Asteroid
[So, the universe had ended. To be fair, Ford Prefect had been under the impression it was only Earth, which he was more than prepared to deal with. But the entire universe? Well, that was unfortunate, because he kept a lot of really nice things there. But he'd learned to deal with it with incredible ease, since there seemed to be some universe still left to muck about in. Only this leads him to a game of Asteroid which he latches onto with an impressive amount of skill. It's not that he's a pro gamer, it's just he knows space.
Expect he can be heard complaining every few minutes about this old arcade game's physics being incredibly unrealistic. This is why people who know astrophysics shouldn't be allowed to game.]
B. Stasis
[Ford, now wandering the halls in a listless state of just trying to be a hoopy frood on the edge of existence, decides to check out the pods for anyone he knows. In his hand he has a small electronic device with the words emblazoned DON'T PANIC. He seems to be doing a good job of not panicking at all, even as he spots someone he seems to know. He punches a name into the device and out it spits with the following:
Eccentrica Gallumbits. The triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six. Some people say that her erogenous zones start some four miles away from her body, while others claim that they start at six. Zaphod Beeblebrox, ex-President of the Imperial Galactic Government, has called her "the best bang since the big one!"
Even as it spouts all this out, Ford can only be seen nodding thoughtfully, even as he switches off the entry before it gets to the really inappropriate bits. The trick is that it works. It's something, at least.]
C. Omage
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with... You’re now chatting with h2g2... Say hi!
D. Wildcard
[When all else fails, explore and drink. Ford, towel wrapped around his shoulders, will be surveying the area all while holding a strong drink in one hand as he tries to take in this whole universe of things he has never seen or heard of. Does he look bothered? Not at all. He'll be overheard mumbling notes into the aforementioned electronic device, almost as though he's making a verbal record of what he's discovering. In fact, it seems so much like that because it's exactly what he's doing.]
Ford Prefect | Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
A. Local Scenery
[Local shmuck and general do-nothinger Ford Prefect hadn't intended to end up on top of a cold mountain with a bag full of ice bison droppings, but now that he was, he really wished he wasn't. What was worse, besides the freezing, was that he still neeeded the blood. He had the dart gun, he had a visual, it's just he also had a terrible sneeze that didn't want to go away. He tried reasoning with his sneeze.]
Wahhhh- don't. Waaahhh- don't sneeze. Waaaahhhh- it won't end well.
[So far the beast hadn't noticed him, though his sneeze was still pretty intent on hanging around. He really didn't want to have to go trekking after this beast again because his nose wouldn't participate.]
B. Freezing
[It's cold! Cold as balls! Without the vast resources of the Guide to tell him how to survive, Ford has only a towel to wrap around his neck as he stares intently at the fire starting kit he was given when he went on this stupid assignment in the first place. There was some wood, some matches, and a man who seemed to think if he stared at the contents long enough that they might just burst into flame. It wasn't that he didn't know how to use matches, it was more a problem of the matches not knowing how to use him.]
C. Wildcard
[Additional wacky adventures in the snow resume. Who is this Ford Prefect fellow? Why is he in the snow? And why would a native decide to bring his towel all the way up there?]
Thesa Station
A. Asteroid
[So, the universe had ended. To be fair, Ford Prefect had been under the impression it was only Earth, which he was more than prepared to deal with. But the entire universe? Well, that was unfortunate, because he kept a lot of really nice things there. But he'd learned to deal with it with incredible ease, since there seemed to be some universe still left to muck about in. Only this leads him to a game of Asteroid which he latches onto with an impressive amount of skill. It's not that he's a pro gamer, it's just he knows space.
Expect he can be heard complaining every few minutes about this old arcade game's physics being incredibly unrealistic. This is why people who know astrophysics shouldn't be allowed to game.]
B. Stasis
[Ford, now wandering the halls in a listless state of just trying to be a hoopy frood on the edge of existence, decides to check out the pods for anyone he knows. In his hand he has a small electronic device with the words emblazoned DON'T PANIC. He seems to be doing a good job of not panicking at all, even as he spots someone he seems to know. He punches a name into the device and out it spits with the following:
Eccentrica Gallumbits.
The triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six. Some people say that her erogenous zones start some four miles away from her body, while others claim that they start at six. Zaphod Beeblebrox, ex-President of the Imperial Galactic Government, has called her "the best bang since the big one!"
Even as it spouts all this out, Ford can only be seen nodding thoughtfully, even as he switches off the entry before it gets to the really inappropriate bits. The trick is that it works. It's something, at least.]
C. Omage
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with...
You’re now chatting with h2g2... Say hi!
D. Wildcard
[When all else fails, explore and drink. Ford, towel wrapped around his shoulders, will be surveying the area all while holding a strong drink in one hand as he tries to take in this whole universe of things he has never seen or heard of. Does he look bothered? Not at all. He'll be overheard mumbling notes into the aforementioned electronic device, almost as though he's making a verbal record of what he's discovering. In fact, it seems so much like that because it's exactly what he's doing.]